Heartbreak

Probably my most important lesson I learned in 2012 was dealing with heartbreak.  It consumed my life which lasted pretty much the full year.  During this time, I found comfort from others who were the same situation and reached out towards music as therapy.  If anyone took the time to listen to any of my spotify playlists, they'd release quickly that most of all my music has to do with heartbreak.  

As most who have dealt with heartbreak, it wasn't as simple as simply reaching out to others or to music.  During this time of greif, I initially reached towards alcohol.  Wine was a handy friend, who turned out to be a false friend.  I would get lost in a bottle and end up drunk-texting my ex.  I eventually had to erase his number from my phone to save me the embarrassment the next day brought.  When I was drunk, I became pathetic, feeling isolated and alone.

Healing

When I realized how lost I was, I reached towards medicinal herbs.  I was studying Rosemary Gladstar's homestudy course and the neuro chapter reached out to me.  I started experimenting with different mixtures of herbs in the form of teas.  These calmed my mind, body and soul.  I slowly started turning around my mental state and began to heal. Once my mind was calmed, I could start thinking about picking up the pieces and moving forward.

One of my favorite tea blends is as follows:

Heart and Mind Soothing Tea:

I pt Catnip

1pt Hops

1pt Oats

2pt Lemon Balm

2pt Mint

Boil water and pour over herbs in a tea pot or strainer in a cup.  Let sit for 10-20min.

Sleeping Tea:

Make a decoction of Valerian Root

To make a decoction: Bring water to a boil on the stovetop.  Add roots (1-2tbs/cup of Water) and let simmer for 15-20min.  Longer the stronger.  Drink until tired.

I recently ran across another blog about heartbreak(which inspired me to write my own).  This blog is very well written. Complete with healing words of comfort and recommendations of herbs to use to ease the mind.  Please check it out at: http://mountainroseblog.com/herbs-heartbreak/ 

Sleepless Cycles:

 I have had so many sleepless nights where my mind just cycles.  Durring these times of stress, the same thoughts circle in my head, over and over and over.  Most of the time, I can't quiet my mind and it becomes torture. I use to try to quiet my thoughts by literally tell myself to be quiet.  But, that normally doesn't work.  So I then tried to listen to the thought, accept the feeling, deal with it or let it go.  This helped tremendously with stoping the cycle because I became accepting of my feelings. 

The author the Mountain Rose Blog says to use the herb Skullcap to help with this cycle problem.  Make a tincture and keep it by your bedside for sleepless nights.  The Valerian Decoction/Tincture will also help with extreme sleeplessness.

To make a tincture

fill a small mason jar half way with dried herb of choice, cover with everclear or 100proof alcohol.  Store in a dark place, shaking it once or twice a day for two weeks. Let it sit for 4 more weeks (6 weeks total) Strain with cheese cloth and bottle. Be sure to label date you started the tincture inorder to keep track of time.  Here's a youtube which explains the process in more detail: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dloPF1QDuw

I felt empowered after discovering the power of herbs and I soon had the urge to want to heal everyone.    It was all fun and games, until someone got hurt....

Power-struggle to control the mind

A girl came into my life one night.  She was friends with my friends.  She was another climber, a go getter type of gal, just like me.  She had just moved to the [Yosemite] Valley a year or so ago, lived the life and fell in love with a professional climber, who will remain nameless.  Now, climbers aren't exactly the best boyfriend material.  They can be very single-minded and selfish at times, but on the other hand, their spirit for adventure and braveness is something that is very desirable by women like me and my peers.  But often, adventures and climbing are put ahead of relationships and they  soon fall apart.  As her's did.  She was crushed and living alone.  I gave her my  tea recipes and called my other friend who was living in the same area as her to keep her company this winter.  Everyone's efforts didn't help.  She lost the mental struggle of feeling lost.  Heartbreak killed her soul. Let her soul rest in peace.

The year of 2012 was the "realest" year of my life.  I have never been faced with so many trials and tribulations.  My plan for life crumbled infront of my eyes.  I tried to pick it back up and put it back together, but it just kept getting falling apart.  The feeling of being lost in life is one that I would not recommend to anyone, but it is something that some people have to feel before they find their true path.  Sometimes you just have to accept the cards life dealt to you and figure out your best hand and go with it.

Refection
Do we shelter our hearts in hopes of preventing future heartbreak?  I realized that my soul was on the line when my world shattered and I am not going to let my world shatter again.  My heartbreak has allowed me to discover what I really want in my life instead of what "we" want.  I have been granted the independence to do exactly what I want, and it's going to take one amazing guy for me to ever consider giving this up again.